Why Middle Management Gets Frustrating Before You Expect It
You’ve spent the last five to ten years pushing hard, earning your steps up the ladder—through well-deserved promotions or strategic moves. You’re paid well, even if not top-of-market. You manage a team of two to eight people, maybe even with a layer of managers beneath you. On paper, it looks like you’ve made it.
But the daily reality feels very different.
You’re increasingly frustrated. You see people above and below you making baffling decisions, lacking what you’d consider basic sense. You invest time giving thoughtful, constructive feedback, yet your team keeps repeating the same mistakes. Days feel longer. Your role feels like it creates less impact than it should. You can’t rely on your direct reports to deliver independently, so you find yourself dragged into every decision—big or small.
And at times, you even question yourself:
Have you drifted into micromanagement? Are you turning into the kind of leader you once vowed never to become?
It’s complicated. And you’re not alone.
What really happened?
What you’re experiencing is far more common than you think—millions of professionals go through the same arc. Early in your career, you’re inexperienced, eager, and hungry to learn. You haven’t seen enough patterns yet. You may have plenty of knowledge, but not much wisdom, so you can’t always anticipate what’s coming next.
Your team members are in that phase now. They look to you for clarity, direction, and reassurance. That’s why it feels like you have to be involved in everything. It’s not that they’re incompetent—they’re simply not operating at your level yet.
And just like you once followed your manager’s guidance without much questioning, you can’t keep doing that as a mid-level leader. Nor should you. Senior leadership expects middle managers to challenge assumptions while still aligning with the broader vision. You’re the layer with enough experience, context, and wisdom to see around corners.
This is also why your own manager won’t always seem perfectly sharp or all-knowing. They’re relying on you to bring informed perspective, push back when needed, and elevate the quality of decisions.
What should you do and feel?
First and foremost, you should feel proud. You’re in a position where you guide and develop others, while also managing the expectations coming from the top. You operate as both a filter and a translator. You filter out the noise—the half-formed ideas and impulsive thoughts your manager (or skip-level) needs to voice—and you pick only what will genuinely benefit the organisation. Then you translate those broad, often vague concepts into actionable plans your team can execute.
If you weren’t in the middle, and your manager communicated directly with your team, it would be chaos. Your team would try to act on every request, burn out quickly, and the quality of work would collapse. Your manager would be frustrated, and nothing would move with strategic consistency. You are the oil that keeps the engine running smoothly. Without you, the engine overheats and breaks down. This is why middle management will never disappear—even if it sometimes looks like an invisible role.
Secondly, this stage is not where you get stuck forever. Once your team—the execution engine—is running smoothly, start sharpening your strategic alignment with the organisation. Ask yourself: Why does my manager think the way they do? What patterns are they responding to? What ideas consistently turn into real value? When you begin generating those ideas yourself—before they rise from above—you naturally start looking more visionary and ready for the next step up.
Finally, continue developing your team. Help every member grow closer to your level. Train them in foresight, prioritisation, and separating noise from meaningful signals. Encourage them to challenge you when your ideas seem disconnected from reality. And always watch for emerging talent. If someone shows potential to translate vision into action, let them step into your role occasionally, guide the team, and practice leadership. That’s how you build a self-sustaining, high-performing unit—and create space for your own growth.
But for how long?
There’s no universal timeline for how long someone should stay in middle management before stepping up. It varies widely—your industry, your background, your organisation’s structure, and even the maturity of your team all play a role. So if you haven’t been promoted yet, don’t be overly critical of yourself.
However, there are ways to understand whether the delay is about readiness or something else—such as organisational inertia, budget limitations, or internal politics.
If you notice your manager gradually shifting more strategic responsibilities to you, while encouraging you to delegate more operational work to your team, that’s a strong signal that you’re perceived as ready for the next level. In that scenario, it’s worth having an open conversation with your manager. Based on how that discussion goes, you can decide whether to double down on developing the remaining skills—or whether it’s time to explore opportunities elsewhere.
Generally speaking, most professionals spend three to eight years in middle management before progressing to the next stage. If you feel your manager is being evasive or unable to give you clear answers, it may be wise to seek guidance from a neutral party—such as an executive coach—who can provide clarity, perspective, and an unbiased assessment of your situation.
Is job hopping a good way to get out of middle management?
Absolutely. If your organisation consistently fails to recognise your value, you may be better off finding one that will. But in many cases, professionals confuse their own lack of readiness with the organisation’s reluctance to promote them. Because you’re emotionally invested in your career—as you should be—it’s easy for your judgement to get clouded. Once you decide you’re being treated unfairly, you naturally start seeking evidence that supports that belief and fall into confirmation bias.
So stay alert to that tendency. Look for signs that you still need to strengthen your strategic thinking muscles—not just signs that the company is holding you back. Avoid pursuing a new job purely out of frustration, the hope of a quick level jump, or a short-term salary boost. In our experience, these moves often don’t work out well in the long run and can become an escape from doing the deeper work on yourself.
Your personal situation may differ, of course, but this is a pattern we observe often.
How can a coach help you?
A coach can support you in two key ways. First, they can help you unpack your feelings and provide a neutral, unbiased perspective on what’s really going on. Second, they can help you refine your strategy—whether that means positioning yourself for an internal promotion, preparing for a level-up move elsewhere, or pursuing both paths and taking the first strong opportunity that appears. Just make sure your coach truly understands your emotions and context; frustration has many distinct flavours, and each requires a different approach.
If you found this article useful, consider subscribing to our newsletter using the link below. And if you’d like a free discovery session with an executive coach from Miller Thomas, we’d be happy to explore your situation and guide you accordingly.
Subscribe to our newsletter: